A Jumble of Thoughts on Podcasting

It is hard to believe that over a year has passed since Orophen, Frei, Rubicon, and I started our podcast back in August 2011. We’ve come a long way with various guests and adding Yelta as a fifth host when Rubicon had taken a break due to SW:TOR, but it’s sort of amazing that we have come this far at all when I thought we would have given up before we hit the year benchmark.

I know that if there are any complaints about our show, it is often that we aren’t “professional”, we curse, and that we nerd out often. Which is fine by me, because I think it’s cool that other podcasts can fill in others expectations for a show that those listeners are interested in. I’m not really interested in being #1 or #2, but at least updated, informed, and entertaining. Having a high ranking is just icing on a cake, because it’s a HUGE compliment to something that most of us find to be a hobby.

Which is why I don’t mind those complaints: they are true and are valid and I’m not particularly interested in changing those aspects. I’ve threatened to leave the show if this was changed and I stand pretty firm on this. I have no qualms dropping things I dislike; I’ve done it before and will do it again if I find it conflicts with my sense of well-being or fun. If anything, I’d probably just start from scratch and be on my merry way. If not? Meh. I have other things to do that don’t have to include podcasting.

At the moment we are currently looking at starting up our “main” show. It is sort of strange to think that the main show won’t be Sequence Break XIV, but I guess it’s the only way to look at it due to the name of the show (which will be JUST Sequence Break) and its proposed content.

The new show honestly has me kind of feeling anxious and nervous. I was nervous starting up Go Team Derp! (Our name before we switched to Sequence Break XIV), as it is sort of challenging setting up something for the first time. But aside from trial run anxieties, I have been in a different sort of headspace that has left me questioning myself more. Am I going to do a good job? Will this podcast be a success? Does it matter if it is? What is a success? Will it intervene with producing episodes on SBXIV in the future? Sometimes the thoughts alone and the other issues I often have, make me think of Linkin Park’s “Runaway” and how I actually want to run off into the horizon.

Then I remember who I’m doing this for—it’s not for the listeners or our fans. It’s for us. We enjoy just sitting, talking, and sometimes arguing and doing it on a regular basis. Most of the time we look forward to recording and publishing our episodes, because we just like having fun and sharing that fun with others. When the day comes that this is truly no longer any fun, I think I’ll step down. Do what? Who knows. Maybe bake cookies?

That’s not to say we don’t care what people think. I love getting e-mails and reviews from listeners who say they keep up to date because of our show, or are just entertained when they have a rough day at work and want to laugh. We’ve changed certain things in the show because of those comments (both positive and negative), but we’ve always made changes that we were ok with first and foremost. We are still weird and quirky, but that’s ok. I love our podcast, and I love the people I met because of it… even if some of them have wanted me to ram my head into a brick wall. I’m looking forward to another year, for sure…