#@$% Comments

Lately I have considered stepping down from SBXIV; not because I don’t have the time, interest, or because of bad relations with the hosts. I make time for the things I love, I love XIV and podcasting, and I love the hosts enough to do a second show with them. What gets to me is that I know that the show is pretty much cool with a lot of people. People comment that they laugh on their way to work, they enjoy some of the hosts, and they even take a precious few minutes to give us a five star rating on iTunes and leave a written review. This is all good, right? But then we get the occasional comments outside of our site that I come across because I find the hits through our tracker or I stumble upon them through other means. The comments typically talk about the show in a positive light until it comes to something about “the girl that curses a lot”. Well, seeing as there are two girls and only one of them curses a storm at times…

I am not personally offended by the comments. No, what gets me is I wonder if the show would be better if I were out of the picture. I mention it before and I will say it again: I won’t change the aspect of myself when it comes to cursing or anything. If people wanted to listen to G or PG rated shows, there is a plethora of them (albeit currently is hiatus due to the current state of the game). I also won’t step down unless the show stops being fun. This is true. But that’s where I’m coming into conflict. I have made several changes to SBXIV because of those comments, gave up cursing during Lent last year to curb back my cursing (even I knew it was a bit much, and relied on it too much as an immature catharsis for release on pent up emotions), and have thoughtfully considered what to do to make SBXIV a better show than when it was during its GTD days.

The negative comments have usually (not always), helped in making the show better. When the comments begin to point to me being the problem? Well, now I have a problem. I have started to worry about what I say sometimes, think if I have to be more tame, and that’s not what I want to do. That’s not being very honest to myself, and it was never the type of show I wanted to run. So I end up wondering: do I dismiss the comments and continue on while thinking (sadly) to myself that I might be the reason the show isn’t better than what it could be? Or do I leave and at least have the peace of mind I did everything I could possibly do to make SBXIV a good show?

  • Orophen

    Don’t worry, you’re definitely not the problem here. The problem is people expecting certain things out of us. We’ll do the show the way we want and get the listeners who want that kind of show. And for the kind of show we want, you are absolutely needed. There’s no way the show would be better without you.